Healthy relationships rely on mutual respect and balance. Many of us unknowingly carry patterns from our families into romantic relationships. Perhaps we learned that love comes from being quiet, compliant, or pleasing. Or maybe the only way to gain attention was to dominate and control. Both roles carry significant risks.
Luis Maimoni, LMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist in Long Beach, California
Category: Communicating
Think about the memorable movie “Up,” where the dream of a trip to Paradise Falls becomes a symbol of love and adventure. Just like that sweet fictional couple, each of you probably has dreams or aspirations you’ve quietly tucked away, waiting for “the right time.” But here’s the secret: the right time is now.
What sorts of things will build intimacy and closeness for you and yours? That depends on what you’re comfortable with—but playing it too safe is a mistake. Let loose, take some risks, and try any of these suggestions—or come up with your own!
Do you feel like your partner never listens, no matter how hard you try to get through to them? You’re not alone. Many couples experience communication breakdowns that leave one person feeling unheard and the other overwhelmed.
In my therapy practice, I often see this dynamic: one partner raises their voice, desperate to be understood, while the other shuts down. But the harder we push to be heard, the less space we create for connection.
If this sounds familiar, there’s hope. Learning how to calm conflict, listen actively, and communicate gently can transform your relationship.
Read more about how to break the cycle and reconnect.
Advice on how to find and keep friends in our over-busy lives: Blame the Internet and information overload, blame work culture, globalization, competition, and economic pressures, blame the increasing complexity of life, we’re all over-busy. Why make the effort to reach out to a friend when the couch is so comfy and the familiar comfort of screen-scrolling is just a finger flick away?
If you are in a relationship where trust is difficult, it may help for you to understand the emotions driving your partner’s trust-busting behaviors. In practical terms, this means understanding that behind everything that you are being asked to give (the negative), there is a longing, and behind that longing, a positive need.
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