Page 2 of 4

Unlearning How to Fight

The old rules of fighting—winning, dominating, avoiding—don’t work when both people matter.

Most of us learned how to fight growing up. Not martial arts—emotional combat. Yelling. Shutting down. Giving the silent treatment like it’s an Olympic sport.

But when those same tactics show up in our relationships, they don’t protect us—they isolate us.

This piece is about how to reframe conflict from something destructive into something connective. Spoiler: it’s not about avoiding fights—it’s about learning how to fight for each other.

Multigenerational Trauma: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Most of us don’t think of ourselves as having trauma. We think of our childhoods as normal—because they were normal to us. But the patterns we carry in adulthood—like shutting down when things get too close—don’t come from nowhere.

Meet Alex: a man stuck in a loop of emotional shutdown, overfunctioning, and broken connection. His story might feel eerily familiar—not because it’s dramatic, but because it’s quietly true.

When Was the Last Time You Went on a Date?

There’s a story about a couple who put a bean in a jar every time they had sex the first year of their relationship…

When Your Gut Says They’re Cheating… Should You Listen?

Is there a one-size-fits-all answer to cheating suspicions? Nope. Not even close. But that doesn’t mean your gut’s useless — just that context is everything.

Curiosity: The Unsung Hero of Healthy Relationships

Curiosity in conflict is a game changer. It slows down reactivity. It invites understanding. And it builds connection right where disconnection usually takes root.

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along? (And What That Has to Do with Your Relationship)

It’s easy to think conflict is about personality differences. But honestly? Much of what we struggle with in relationships is baked into human nature—the same wiring that drives large-scale conflict, division, and tribalism.

When Respect Feels Missing: A Conversation About Gender, Connection, and Emotional Needs

He looked at me and said, “Women keep saying we don’t understand them. But I don’t think they understand us either—not what we need.”

What followed wasn’t a rant. It was something quieter. Sadder. The feeling that in a world cheering for progress, some men aren’t sure where they fit anymore—or whether anyone notices when they’re quietly drowning.

How a History of Trauma Impacts Intimate Relationships

Guest Post by Steven Kilmann, LMFT, MD: This blog explores how unresolved trauma—particularly developmental and relational trauma—can deeply impact intimate relationships. It covers how trauma affects the nervous system, disrupts communication, alters physical touch responses, and creates push-pull dynamics in connection. Drawing from personal experience and therapeutic insight, the author explains how trauma-informed therapy can help individuals and couples heal by restoring safety, trust, and emotional regulation. The piece emphasizes that healing isn’t linear, but with the right support, safe and secure love is possible.

Power, Chores, and the Trouble with Negotiation

A friend told me, “Everything in life is a negotiation.”
Maybe. But in intimate relationships, that mindset can backfire.

Relationships and Power

Healthy relationships rely on mutual respect and balance. Many of us unknowingly carry patterns from our families into romantic relationships. Perhaps we learned that love comes from being quiet, compliant, or pleasing. Or maybe the only way to gain attention was to dominate and control. Both roles carry significant risks.

Luis Maimoni, LMFT